God called my wife my "helper" (Genesis 2:18). What if what she is supposed to help me with is becoming more like Christ by pointing out those aspects of my person that are NOT like Him?
This does not necessarily make me happy. It is painful and uncomfortable, but the results are well worth the inconvenience. However, lets clarify a couple of points before we get ahead of ourselves.
When I say "by pointing out", I do not mean that she actually hands me, or reads, or even discusses a list of every one of my flaws with me. Please do not do this to your spouse!!! I mean that, through our every day interactions, my flaws, such as impatience, selfishness, temper, come to the surface. The Holy Spirit will use these instances to convict me and point out these sinful tendencies within me. Note that I did not mention anything about my spouse pointing out anything to me! These situations happen naturally when two (or more) sinful and imperfect people spend extended amounts of time together.
In an ideal world, our spouses would be nothing but kind, encouraging, serving, loving, and Christ-Like. However, we can no more expect this of them as we can expect it of ourselves. Therefore, I think it is wise to understand that they will hurt us, they will do and say things that will get under our skins and, in the more unfortunate instances, deeply hurt our hearts. It is important not to expect perfection from our spouses, but expect that they will, however much they may love us, behave in a way that is consistent with the sinful nature that we all share.
Miscommunications, changes of plans, bad days, are all natural things and we should learn to expect these things. We need to start expecting that life is not all fun and games. On the other hand, we should also focus on the fact that, when undesirable circumstances arise, we will be able to resolve them quickly and keep moving forward. If we focus on the "undesirables" too much, we will depress ourselves.
Once we understand this, and we can look at our spouses, their words, and actions, through eyes of understanding and compassion, our marital relationships will start becoming more and more like Christ wants them to be.
What would happen if you were able to express forgiveness, patience, and love to your spouse in the way it is describe in 1 Corinthians 13? And what if, at the same time, your spouse had the same attitude towards you? How much more enjoyable would our lives with our life partners be?
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