Dealing with the Stress of Life

Talking with my wife about this week's activities, I was reminded of when I was a young boy. There was a game I liked to play, we would set up chairs and balls and brooms and all sorts of obstacles and we would see who could make it past all of them the fastest, without touching any of them. We called it an "obstacle course," you might be familiar with that game.
 
This week is particularly busy for us; that is what reminded me of the obstacle courses I would love going through as a child. When going through the different challenges, I never worried about what was coming up ahead, I just focused on the task at hand, enjoyed it, accomplished it, and moved on to the next until I had cleared all obstacles. Life is very much like this, some weeks more than others.
 
The interesting part about this game was that it was not a stressful game. I was not stressed or anxious or nervous about it, but it was fun and enjoyable. I think looking at life with that same approach can be very beneficial sometimes. Isn't that what life really is, an obstacle course that we are to go through?
 
Now, let me clarify, the activities that we have going on this week are of no great significance, they are just part of the business of life. We are busy preparing for an upcoming trip to visit some friends, getting ready and shopping for a dog that will be joining our family on Thursday evening, cooking and delivering two meals to a couple of new mothers at church, involved with the activities related with raising two children under two years old, dealing with some impending deadlines at work, as well as a day-trip to a nearby state on Thursday morning, and keeping up to date with ministry activities, including hosting a community group meeting on Wednesday night, and writing for this blog. Failure to accomplish most of the items in this list will not result in any kind of negative long-term consequence. I will not loose my job, go bankrupt, go hungry, or have my home foreclosed, those are different. As a matter of fact, if I play my cards correctly, I will not even miss my bedtime.
 
However, it is still easy to get stressed out and anxious over having a packed-out schedule for the week. To be honest, this week is so packed that, if I am not careful, I would start feeling suffocated and overwhelmed. That is why keeping the right perspective is so important, it will help you remove large amounts of stress that are related to simply being alive.
 
Today, I want to challenge you to look at the obstacles in your life as a challenge to be enjoyed, instead of a chore or nuisance to be dealt with. Take one day at a time, one obstacle at a time, and ENJOY WHAT YOU ARE DOING!!!
 
Look at the activities in which you are involved in an objective way. Judge them according to how important they are, focus on those things that have significant consequences, and don't worry about the others; they are just there to keep your life entertaining.
 
"Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." Matthew 6:34, ESV
 
 
"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice." Philippians 4:4

A Godly Self-Esteem, Part 2

Let us reason together.

If you base your self-image and worth on what you do or how you behave, it will be damaged every time you make a mistake, sin, or fall short. However, if you base your self-worth on God's love, every act of repentance will be a reassurance of that love and help you understand how truly valuable you are. To do this, however, one must accept the fact that, as a human, anything other than sinful imperfection is impossible while on this earth, and everything we are and do that may be of worth is by His grace and power alone.

You are valuable enough for Him to sacrifice His beautiful, perfect, and infinite Son for your sake!!!

You are invaluable! Don't buy into the lie that you are not. That is called a lie and false humility. True humility comes from honesty and knowing the truth about who God is and who you are. Denying the worth that He has bestowed upon you is not an act of humility; it is an act of blatant disrespect towards God. It is an outright insult towards Him.

A closing thought: just as you are invaluable to Him, everyone else it too. Remember that Jesus came to save "whosoever" accepts Him. Likewise, you and I are able to do "good" only because of His grace. He uses other people to grow us, teach us, discipline us, and help us become of use for His kingdom. So, when you encounter someone in need that might seem undisciplined, sinful, disgusting, evil, "addicted," or "inferior," just remember that the only difference between you and that person is the influence that God chose to have on your life. Would you be that much different from that person if you had grown up in the same circumstances? No, you would not. If God had given you the same personality, upbringing, education, emotional disposition, etc., you probably would not be that different from this "inferior" individual.

It might very well be that He wants to use you to make that same difference on his or her life!!!

A Godly Self-Esteem, Part 1

The topic of self-esteem is sometimes shunned amongst Christians because of its seeming conflict with the concept of humility. However, self-esteem is very critical. A poor self-image can cripple you, robbing you of your ability to enjoy God, your relationships with others, your life, and your ability to fulfill God's will.

As a matter of fact, I would argue that a poor self-esteem is borderline blasphemy or sin. Why? For three reasons:

1. God made you in His image, and as such you are invaluable.
2. God clearly thinks that you are worth enough to sacrifice His Son for your sake.
3. If the spirit of God lives in you your worth in infinite because of His presence. If I filled a building with gold and sell it as a unit, its worth would be (at least) equal to its content. The same is true of everyone indwelled by the Holy Spirit.

Lets give credit to where credit is due. God said you are very valuable. You should recognize, accept, and agree with this. Otherwise, you would be disagreeing with God.

The difference between worldly and Godly self-esteem is where the self-esteem comes from and what it is based upon.

The world bases self-esteem mostly on performance, discipline, ability, or a character trait. As a Christian, this is inappropriate. It is imperative to understand that our value as people does not come from what we can do. Whatever our abilities may be, they are not our own. They were given to us by God, so our skills, abilities, and character are not a valid source of self-worth, self-esteem, or confidence; they are a source of thanksgiving and praise towards Him. God's love for you, Jesus' sacrifice, and His presence within you are the only valid source of self-esteem and much more powerful ones.

Worldly self-esteem could lead to a "better-thou" attitude. Godly self-esteem will always lead you to understanding that all people are equally valuable, there is no such thing as a "better" or "superior" person.

Why to Forgive

Jesus gave some serious warnings about forgiveness, but I have heard people (some of them very influential) dismiss those warning solely based on the concept that salvation cannot be lost, which has not been irrefutably determined based on what the scripture says.

The Arminian-Calvinist conflict has been around for centuries, and, in my opinion, neither side presents a satisfactory argument. To put it in a probably overly simplistic way, the Arminians would say that salvation could be had and lost based on choice. According to the way they interpret the scriptures, God gives man the choice, therefore man can choose to accept salvation and later reject it. The Calvinists argue that this is not the case, that man cannot choose, but God moves their heart to accept salvation and, once accepted, it can never be lost. In my opinion, neither side is correct. I do not have an alternative view of this issue, but both of them can be argued from the scriptures and I have not been able to find a successful resolution to it. There are pros and cons to both sides of that coin.

I am not against Calvinism, but it is important to understand both sides of the argument because following the Calvinist thought could cause believers to ignore one of the most serious warnings that Jesus gave us during his earthly ministry.

"For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." Matthew 6:14-15, ESV

That is a very serious statement and warning, and that is not the only time Jesus mentions this concept. In Matthew 18:21-35 Jesus tells the parable of the wicked servant who, being forgiven of his debt, refused to forgive those that owed him and was sent to jail until he could repay the entirety of his debt. The passage ends with the same warning.

"And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart." Matthew 18:34,35, ESV

This might sound like works-based salvation, but, from the scripture quoted above, it could be argued that forgiving those that offend, hurt, and "owe" us is a requirement for our own salvation.

Regardless of whether your theology aligns with the Arminian or Calvinist view, I would encourage you to pay attention to the bitterness and un-forgiveness in your heart. Ask God to help you forgive those that owe you, so you may not be that wicked servant or end up like him!!!
 
Learn How To Forgive Here
 

Video - Ben Breedlove - Near Death Experience Testimony

Do you believe in Angels or God?

I DO!!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ben_Breedlove

This video went viral in December 2011 - January 2012. Right after this 18 year old posted this video, he moved on to be with the Lord. I still think it is relevant.

A senior manager at the place where I work passed on suddenly after having a heart attack. No one saw it coming. Videos and testimonies like this are a definite help when dealing with death.

The Practice of the presence of God - Brother Lawrence

Today, I wanted to share with you a book that inspired me greatly when I first became a follower of Christ. I do not remember who introduced me to this Christian Classic, but I am glad that they did.
 
The book is titled: The Practice of the Presence of God, Rules of Holy Life
 
Here is a link to the Wikipedia Article on the book, as well as one to the "Biographical" page of Brother Lawrence.
 
Since this book was written several hundred years ago, it is part of the public domain and can be obtained for free. I was glad to discover that Project Gutenberg, The Christian Classics Ethereal Library, and LibriVox have free copies of this work in written and audio formats.
 
So here are the links.
 
Free text Version at Project Gutenberg can be found here, Available in the following formats: Text, HTML, Epub, Kindle, and more
 
Free Audio version at LibriVox can be downloaded from here
 
Free and Paid copies of the text and audio versions at The Christian Classics Ethereal Library can be found here
 
I hope it blesses you in the same way it blessed me.

Is online ministry biblical?

In this article, I will set out to establish whether online ministries are an actual biblical concept, but in order to do that, we need to do a bit of time travel and take a trip to approximately 2000 years ago.

If we study the structure of the New Testament, we will find out that it is mostly comprised of letters written from different apostles to various audiences. In some cases, the writers were familiar with the church or individual to whom they were writing; in some other cases they were not.

Saying that this type of ministry is a long-distance ministry is a very valid statement. If we take into consideration that there was no such thing as electricity back then, we can conclude that the written word was actually break-through technology in the realm of information management. It was the fastest way available to transfer information through long distances. The internet, email, and online ministries serve the same function; they are just a new and improved version of the model the apostoles used back then. The only difference is that nowadays we are using the iPad instead of iPapyrus! (OK, I confess, that was a corny joke.)

It is worth mentioning that this was not the only mode of ministry that those receiving the instruction were exposed to. The churches back then were basically a network of small groups. The apostles were the senior ministers, but there were other mature christians discipling and helping the younger christians in their spiritual growth.

It is the same nowadays. Online ministries by themselves are very valid, but that cannot be the only source of ministry you are involved in. Get plugged into a church in your area. Find a small group to be a part of with which you can share your life. Every Christian needs instruction on the Word of God, but we also need an experienced mentor to show us how to apply it to our everyday lives and help us in the growing process!!

Video - Sweetly Broken - Jeremy Riddle

What a beautiful thing it is to humble our hearts and worship God!!

What an incredible thing it is that we, sinful and broken, can have an intimate relationship with someone like Him!

We have been given an infinitely beautiful gift at the cross. I look forward to getting to heaven because only then will we be able to understand the fullness of what He did at the cross for us.

And it will only be then that we will behold the full extent of His beauty!!!

He is worthy of our worship!!!

How To Be Peaceful

"Turn away from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it." Psalm 34:14, ESV

Peace is something that everyone wants but not many have. The psalm quoted above clearly states that if we want to have peace in our lives we must be intentional in our pursuit of it.These two verses below are a good blueprint for how to seek and pursue peace in our hearts and lives.

"The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks."Luke 6:45, ESV

"Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life." Galatians 6:7, 8 ESV

When I think about peace, three different aspects of my life comes to mind: the internal, the circumstantial, and the interpersonal.

The internal aspect of peace is what happens within myself. Specifically, it is how I think and feel about myself. It is important to accept who God made you to be. It is important to stop trying to be like everyone else and be yourself. God made you the way you are for a reason. He has a plan for your life: EMBRACE IT!! Similarly, it is also important to understand and accept that you are not, and never will be, perfect. Life is a journey of growing ever closer to God, of changing, of expanding your comfort zone, of continual learning. Embrace this aspect of life, and be gracious towards yourself for not being perfect. Adopt the attitude that Joyce Meyer expresses in the following quote towards yourself and your life.

“I may not be where I need to be but I thank God I am not where I used to be.” Joyce Meyer

The circumstantial aspect of peace has to do with life events. Whether it is a health condition, financial, or family situation, it is important to understand two things about external circumstances:

1. We all make mistakes and get into situations that eventually become overwhelming and require "rescuing" from. This is part of why we are called "sheep" in the bible. Sheep are continually getting into trouble from which they cannot save themselves. We do the same thing. So, trust that your Shepherd will come to your rescue, even when you get yourself in trouble!!

2. There are aspects of life that we cannot control. Things will happen that we cannot prevent and can do nothing to resolve. When this happens, you have two options. You can either freak out, stress out, and gain nothing from it, or you can accept them for what they are and trust that your Shepherd will rescue you from this one as well.

Either way, trusting in the wisdom, power, and loving kindness of your father/shepherd/rescuer/lover of your soul, is a fundamental aspect of living a life in peace. That is why He says that "the righteous shall live by faith."

The third aspect of peace, the interpersonal, has to do with our relationships with others. Whether it is family, friends, co-workers or classmates, difficulties will arise. Difficulties will even arise with complete strangers in unexpected ways. For example, have you ever been cut-off in traffic by a reckless driver that decided to do something dangerous and put you and your family at risk? This can be quite disturbing. People are imperfect, sinful, selfish, etc., and this will cause difficulties, disagreements, and strife. It is important to make love, grace, wisdom, and humility the centerpiece of the way in which you interact with others. It is just as important to trust that God will protect you from the poor decisions that others make, just as He will protect others from your (or my) poor decisions!!

Living in peace, at whichever level, always requires trusting in God and listening to His advice and wisdom. As we stated earlier, in order to obtain peace, you must be intentional about your pursuit of it. You need to start sowing seeds of peace into all three aspects of you life: the way you see and think about yourself, the way you perceive the world, and your relationships with others.

Are you sowing peace, love, and faith into your heart and life, or are you sowing something else?

Visualization

Visualization exercises have been around for a long time, and if you talk to talk to people in the business or fitness/sports world, they will testify to the power of this mental tool.

However, in the religious world, visualization exercises have been regarded as evil or demonic. I am not sure why certain people have taken this position. In my opinion, those that tend to take this point of view seem to be the overly "religious" people, and I mean "religious" in the negative and legalistic sense of the word. It seems to me that they blur the line between the mind and the spirit, as if there were no such difference.

The bible does not mention any particular way of meditation, but it does express that we should meditate on God and his word on a continual basis. If meditation is a mental discipline that we are commanded to practice, why are they so against this particular form? My answer is: they do not understand what meditation truly is.

Are visualization  Exercises godly?

Visualization can be just as godly or demonic as prayer.

If you are praying to Satan, then your prayers are completely ungodly and demonic. If you are praying to God, then your prayers are potentially an exercise in godliness  just as much as they are a means of intimacy with Him. It really depends on how you use the visualization exercise and what you visualize. Every human being has three parts: The Spirit, The soul (mind, will, and emotions), and the body (physical, physiological, and sensations). So everything a human being does needs to be analyzed according to these three aspects.

Visualization is mainly a mental exercise. The spiritual side of visualization varies depending on how you use it. If I use visualization exercises to discipline my mind to focus on God, be loving, patient, understanding, and so forth, then the exercise will produce godly fruit and can be judged as godly. If I use visualization to produce selfishness, pride, and depravity, then the exercise can be judged as ungodly. Ultimately, visualization is a form of meditation. It is a way of changing the way you think and perceive the object of your visualization.

As a matter of fact, everyone uses visualization. Think about the last time you got angry. I mean really, really angry with someone. What did you ? If you are anything like me, you probably sat around thinking about the offense, brooding over it. And you were not just thinking, you were imagining the situation, you could see yourself, what happened, how you would have liked to react, what you would have said or done, or what you were planning on saying and doing in the near future. This was visualization, of the wrong kind. 

I am no psychological guru, but it is my understanding that our minds work largely in terms of pictures, instead of abstract concepts or actual words. So visualization is not so do much something we do, but a way in which our minds works. When people talk about visualization exercises, the are really talking about meditation and psychological programming. There is nothing evil or abnormal about that. What makes the exercise evil is the attitude behind it, and how you use it.

The right kind of visualization can actually be a form of prayer. It can be a visual conversation with God, a way of sharing with him the desire of your heart, and ask him to change you to be more like Him.This is when visualizing becomes a powerful tool for growing closer to God, and sowing good into our hearts and spirit.

Video - Michael W. Smith - Awesome God

What an awesome God we serve!!!

The worship team sang this song on Sunday, and I wanted to share it with you today. I pray it is as uplifting to you as it was to me after missing church for about three weeks straight.

Be encouraged, we serve an awesome, beautiful, God. He loves you and will cause everything to work out for your benefit, even if it does not feel that way.

He is good, and He loves you infinitely!!!


 

I Really Wish We All Understood This

I had an interesting experience the other day. I went for a walk with my son, whom being obsessed with yard maintenance, wanted to go look at the neighbor mow her lawn. Naturally, I held him above my head so the two feet tall child could admire the coveted item over the privacy fence that separated this neighbor from our property.
 
Since this particular neighbor would probably find it strange that a levitating baby was looking at her from above her seven feet tall fence, I decided to say hello and strike up a conversation. Talking to someone else across a fence, without being able to see her or her face, was an interesting and extremely awkward experience. Have you ever had a conversation like that?
 
You might be tempted to answer "No," or "Rarely," but I want to challenge that answer. If I had to answer that question honestly, which is the way I try to answer all questions, I would have to say that most of my conversations are that way!! That is a sad truth.
 
By now you have probably figured out that I am not talking about a physical wall, but an emotional one. As a community group leader, this is one of the major obstacles I face.
 
Why do we hide our true selves behind emotional walls, or "facades" so often? Why are we scared to show our "true colors"?
 
I think the answer is simple. We are insecure. We are more scared of being rejected by men than secure in our acceptance by God.
 
If God, who knows the deepest darkest recesses of my heart and mind, has chosen to adopt me as his very own child, what does it matter what anyone else thinks about me?
 
Lets review this. God is infinite. He created the heavens and the earth simply by speaking a few words. He understands the most amazing secrets, some of which we don't even know exist. He can tell the sun, the moon, and the stars what to do, and they obey Him. He is more important, powerful and influential than all human beings combined.
 
If this God thinks that I am worth dying for, why do I care what some puny little soul thinks of me?
 
Today I want to challenge you to think about God and who He is! How awesome, powerful, infinite, and amazing He is. Truly meditate on how much He loves YOU!!!
 
Yes, GOD LOVES YOU!!! And HE CHOSE YOU!!!
 
You do not have to "earn" anything. You do not need to perform in order to be loved, accepted, or special.
 
You are special to God just like you are. Who cares what everyone else thinks?
 
Believe this, live by it, and BE AN AUTHENTIC CHRISTIAN!!!

Enjoying You Life-Ride

I took my son to my neighbor's swing this weekend and started thinking about the way I push him. The first time I took him out there, I quickly decided that I would push my child from the front instead of the back. That way he could still see me smile at him, and I would get to see him laugh and enjoy himself. This way we would swing together instead of me acting like a simple robot. It is a little more difficult but worth the effort.

This time, however, I started swinging him faster and faster until he started getting a little scared, which at this point I slowed down. As I was reflecting on his fear, it dawned on me that we, as followers of Christ, go through very similar experiences with Him.

Lets analyze what went on. The swing was perfectly safe; I made sure of it. I could have pushed my child much harder and faster than he was going without any danger. He became scared because of two things. First, he did not understand what was going on; the additional speed was a new experience to him. Second, he did not trust me, probably because he was not aware that I had insured his safety through the activity.

How similar is that to our relationship with God?!?! I go through that process all the time. God will try to push me a little higher, and a little faster, knowing that I would enjoy the ride. All the while, I am terrified of the new height and speed simply because it is new to me, I do not understand it, and I do not trust that He has insured my safety!!!

Additionally, God is a relational God. He wants to go through the ride with us, looking at us, smiling at us, seeing us enjoy the ride while He pushes us and leads us through this life!!

However, unlike me, God will ask you ahead of time and give you the choice to refuse the "enhanced experience."

Do you continually refuse God's higher levels? If so, why? Are you afraid of something new? Do you trust that God has insured your safety?

Frustration, Impatience, and Control, Part 2

Impatience can be a source of great emotional distress. Dictionary.com defines impatience as "an eager desire for relief or change; restlessness," or "intolerance of anything that thwarts, delays, or hinders."

I got a flat tire on my way to a very important appointment. I had an hour to spare, but when I attempted to change the despicable item, I found myself unable to lift the car because my jack was missing parts! As if that were not enough, once I finally did manage to install the spare tire, it had low air pressure!!!

That was a frustrating experience. My level of frustration escalated as the time of my appointment came and went. My feelings could certainly be described as "intolerance of anything that thwarts, delays, or hinders" by the end of the experience. You could also describe them as rage.

In retrospective, I should have taken a few minutes to collect myself, connect, and talk to God about the situation and proceed to analyze the possible solutions in a systematic way. Instead, I chose to become angry. Anger is a natural enemy of common sense. By accepting the things I could not change (the flat tire, missing parts, and low air pressure) and trusting that God would see me through, I would have been able to resolve the issue much faster than I did.

Being content with your life requires trust in God, because we have to trust that He will take care of those things that we cannot.

Trusting God in difficult times helps keep us grounded and logical during those crises instead of reacting in an emotionally uncontrolled way that makes things even worse.

It is easy to have patience when you are not pressed for time; however, keeping your cool when time is of the essence and you encounter unforeseen delays is a completely different matter that requires a much greater level of spiritual maturity!!

I failed to accept the situation and trust God!!

In the end, it all turned out well. Event though I was thirty minutes late to my appointment, the meeting went on as planned and everything turned out fine. I could have prevented some major emotional distress by trusting God through those difficult couple of hours.

How often do you run into situations like this? How do you respond?

Frustration, Impatience, and Control

I have started to realize that there is a lot of frustration in my life that stems from impatience and the desire to control people and cituations that are well beyond my control.

Do you find yourself dealing with these issues?

Now, it is not a conscious decision. It is more like an attitude, something that happens automatically, in the background, and causes me to want to change things I could never change. The frustration arises from my inhability to change these factors.

The bible speaks about this issue in terms of contentment.

"Now there is great gain in godliness with contentment," 1 Timothy 6:6 ESV

Contentment seems to indicate an acceptance of how things are in the present, specially of those things I can not control. It does not mean that we like the present condition, or that we resign ourselves to living in it, but it does indicate an acceptance of them and, at the same time, a release of our desire to control and change them.

Do your best in whatever circumstance you find yourself, and let God take care of the rest. Identify the things that you can do something about, and do it. Identify the things that you can not do anything about, and release them to God. Try to identify how you got to where you are and learn from that so you can prevent it in the future.

Join us next time as we discuss the relationship between impatience and frustration!

Keeping your Spiritual Battery Full

I bought my first smart phone about a year ago. At the time, it was the top of the line, but it had one known issue, the battery would not keep its charge for long. At most, you would get six or seven hours of charge, if you didn't use it much.

Knowing that I spend most of my time either in my car or at my desk, I did not consider this a problem, and it has not been. I bought a car adapter and an extra USB cord so I could keep it plugged up while on my 45-minute commute to work and while I am at the office. Problem solved. I rarely ever run out of battery. As a matter of fact, my phone has 100% battery most of the time.

Photo courtesy of
FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Our spiritual and emotional lives work the same way as the phone's battery. When we stay connected to Christ, we have a full battery, are at peace, love others, and can lead a life that brings glory to Him. We can even function "unplugged" for a little while.

However, there is danger in letting our battery run low. That is when we start running into trouble, living depressed, discouraged, frustrated, angry, anxious, etc. What I have observed in my life, and the lives of others, is that not only do we not "plug" ourselves often enough, a lot of us go through life with an empty battery, and only occasionally do we spend enough time with Him to get even a marginal amount of spiritual charge back. We run on empty all the time, and when we do get a little charge back, we consider it a supernatural touch of God.

Being filled with His spirit, life, encouragement, and strength, should be the rule, not the exception.

So, Why don't we live this way?

When I bought my cell phone, I was very aware of the problem, and I created a plan to address it!! I bought the extra chargers, and I developed the discipline of plugging the thing in as soon as I got in the truck or to my desk.

It is the same thing with our spiritual lives. You, me, and every other Christian out there have a very low "battery life," and we all need a plan to keep ourselves charged!!

What is your plan? How are you planning on staying charged-up?

Charge yourself often!!! Plug into God at every opportunity!!! Start living your life on a full charge, instead of a burned-out one!!!

Sticks and Stones

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me"

You have heard that saying before. You have probably also heard people disagree with it in resent years. I have to admit that it bothers me when I hear people disagree with that (non biblical) proverb. It is not that I think they are wrong in their disagreement; it's just that they have taken the saying out of context. The phrase is not incorrect; it is just incomplete. Additionally, it was originally deviced as a means to teach children how to react to insults. It's original intent was to teach children not to react physically to verbal insults, and to ignore them. Which is something that a lot of adults also need to learn.

Zig Ziglar quoted a little girl who said, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will break my heart."

Here is my version of it, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me, unless I allow them to"

You, as an adult, have the power to choose whether other people's words will hurt you or not.

If someone approached you and tried to correct you by telling you that 2 + 2 is not equal to 4, you would probably laugh, ignore them, and continue living your life in peace. Why would this correction make no impact in your life?

Because of your confidence that the assertion is mistaken

You should be able to respond in the same way when anyone approaches you and corrects you in any way, as long as they are mistaken in their assertion.

Whether they are bringing up a character flaw, an attitude, action, or they are calling you every name in the book; as long as they are mistaken, you should be able to ignore them and keep living your life without disturbance. So the question is, why don't you react in this way? Here are the two possible answers to that question:

A. They are not mistaken and their assertion is correct, or
B. You are insecure about yourself

Today I want to challenge you to inspect the way you react to people during conflict. Are you confident enough to say to yourself, "They are wrong," and GRACEFULLY ignore them?

Or, if they are correct, are you humble enough to accept that they are correct in their assertion and ask for forgiveness, instead of becoming defensive?

How to Reduce Frustration

"Whoever restrains his words  has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding."  Proverbs 17:27, ESV

I had two people become seriously upset at me this  morning as I was driving to work. Apparently, I was not driving fast enough  for them. What I do not understand is why would they become so upset when  they could clearly see that there was someone in from of me blocking my  way. I was already going ten miles over the speed limit; there was no way  I could possibly go faster. Traffic would not allow it, and I would not  have gone faster even if it had been a possibility.

Life is full of annoying  little instances that cause frustration, delays, inconveniences, and so  forth. Some other instances are not so little, and can be much more painful  and difficult than traffic; these are a topic for a different post.

The  two drivers I encountered this morning were obviously shortsighted. They  could have avoided some serious heartache if they would have taken time  to look a little more carefully and think before reacting in anger. I hope  they have a different attitude towards their families.

We can save ourselves  a lot of frustration by having a little more knowledge and understanding,  like the proverb states. It is a matter of keeping a level head and analyzing  the situation we find ourselves in. It is a matter of understanding that  the past cannot be changed, but it can be learned from. It is a matter  of understanding that people are sinful, and they will let us down. It  is matter of understanding that no one can be perfect, including yourself  and your spouse (if you have, or will have, one.)

Undesirable circumstances are inevitable, but can be reduced by studying them, and learning how to minimize their occurrence.

How often do you find yourself angry, upset,  or frustrated simply because you did not take the time to step back and  look at the situation in more detail before reacting?

How To Be Happy, Part 10

Study, continued.

Last time we talked about the importance  of continuing studying, applying what we learn, and growing closer to God,  as a continual process to achieving great happiness (or Joy) in our lives.

When I first started writing this  series, I intended to make it two or three posts long. I had no idea how  extensive it would end up being. And it is much more extensive then what  we have covered so far. As a matter of fact, it is just as extensive as  the bible is. And I am not posting a copy of the bible 400 words at a time.

So, visit our Articles or enCOURAGE  pages, where you will find additional articles and resources that are directly  related to this topic. Keep on studying and growing closer  to God, that is the ultimate way to achieve any degree of happiness and  joy in life, and that is what these articles are aimed at helping you achieve.

How to Be Happy, Part 9

Study.

"My people are destroyed  for lack of knowledge; because you have rejected knowledge, I reject you  from being a priest to me. And since you have forgotten the law of your  God, I also will forget your children." Hosea 4:6, ESV

The pursuit  of happiness, then, becomes a process of identifying those aspects in our  lives that need to be changed, and changing them. If you are perfectly  happy, then you should continue doing what you are doing. If you are not  happy with your life, then change is necessary. In order for change to  be effective you need to know WHAT to change, and HOW to change it. In  order to gain this, or any other kind of knowledge, study is necessary.

Many  a time I have read a book or scripture to find myself having more knowledge  (knowing "what" to change) at the end of the task, but having  had no effect on my character or performance. Studying, therefore, is not  enough. You must also apply what you learn in order to effect change (this  is the "How" part, plus a little bit of work and discipline).

"It's  not what you got, it is what you use that makes the difference" Zig  Ziglar.

I have heard it said that "If you always do what you've always  done, you will always get what you've always got." The same concept  is expressed in the, now cliché, definition of insanity according to Albert  Einstein: "Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but  expecting different results."

The amount of knowledge and advice in the  bible is more than any person could ever understand or apply in a lifetime.  Telling yourself otherwise is lying to yourself.

Saying that people never change is a great mistake. People can change their nature, if they ask  God to change it for them. People CAN change their character and habits.  People change; as a matter of fact, people are always changing and never stay the same.

If you are not studying, and applying what you learn, you  are not progressing. If you are not progressing, you are regressing. There  is no such thing as staying the same. You are either progressing or regressing.

Lets  think about this, what is the purpose of pastors, counselors, psychologists,  psychiatrists, and mentors? Isn't the very function of the people in these  positions to help others change?

Yes, it is. If people could not change,  there would be no such things as pastors, counselors, psychologists, psychiatrists,  or mentors, because they would have failed a long time ago. They are still  around because they have been successful at helping people change themselves, and their lives, for the better!!

The same change is possible for you  and I!!